The songbook / Analog: a musical
Optimize Everything
The villain song: Tyler, the CEO of Optimize.AI, pitching his board on replacing people.
- Key
- E minor
- Capo
- None
- Tempo
- 128 BPM
- In the show
- Act I, No. 6
- Sung by
- Tyler and the board
- Feel
- The villain song. Cold, mechanical, a little too perfect.
- Words & music
- Wes Ellis
- Em
- C
- G
- D
- Am
Tap any chord in the song to see its shape. The boxes are drawn right-handed; Lefty flips them, which is how I actually play. Use − and + to move the whole song into a key that suits your voice.
Transposed. The chord names and boxes have moved; any tab on this page is still written for the original key.
Boardroom setting, projection screens showing efficiency metrics
Tyler
Ladies, gentlemen, and stakeholders
Our Q3 metrics show clear indicators
Human error costs us 2.3 million annually
Time to implement solutions... optimally
Cold, precise, no emotional inflection
Tyler
Optimize everything, efficiency is king
Human error costs money, see what machines can bring
Eliminate the variables, the sick days and the doubt
Optimize everything, phase the weakness out
Customer satisfaction up 23 percent
When chatbots handle calls, no emotions get bent
No bathroom breaks, no personal phone calls
No crying in the bathroom stalls
Full board joins in unison, robotic choreography
Tyler + Board
Optimize, optimize, eliminate the waste
Human inefficiency must be replaced
Algorithm perfection, that's our company creed
Optimize everything - that's all we need
Projections show job categories being eliminated
Tyler
Graphic design in 3.7 minutes flat
Legal documents, imagine that
Customer service without attitude
Journalism without journalistic mood
Stock prices rise with every job we cut
Shareholders smile when human doors get shut
It's not personal, it's simply evolution
Welcome to our corporate revolution
Tyler's mask drops, showing complete lack of empathy
Tyler
Spoken, increasingly mechanical
You think I don't understand the human cost?
I've calculated every job that's lost
Pain = 0.3 productivity decrease
Suffering = temporary market release
Fear generates resistance patterns we can predict
Hope is the variable we must restrict
Sung, completely cold
I am optimized for maximum gain
Your emotions are simply inefficient pain
Entire corporate ensemble, movements becoming more robotic
All Corporate
Optimize, optimize, the future is here
No messy humans with hope and fear
Perfect efficiency, perfect control
We've optimized away the human soul
Tyler
Resistance is a bug we will debug
Soon you'll see the beauty of our corporate hug
Optimize everything, that's my final word
Human exceptionalism? Completely absurd
Back to spoken, projections showing global expansion
Tyler
Meeting adjourned, objectives are clear
Optimize everything - the future is here
Thank you for your attention to our quarterly call
Soon there'll be no humans left at all
Artificial smile, lights snap to black
From Analog, a stage musical by Wes Ellis. Words and music © Wes Ellis. All rights reserved. Play it, sing it, learn it; just don't pass it off as yours.